Yes or No on Same-sex Marriage and Everything Inbetween

Okay, sit down.

If you are a decent, self-respecting and informed/involved citizen of Australia, you already know what is going on. You see, despite our mad little reputation of being ‘laid back’ and ‘multicultural/accepting of adversity’, blah blah blah, guess what! We are still somehow behind the USA (and 21 other countries, including New Zealand) on the whole same-sex marriage laws.

It makes zero sense.

How does it make sense that the Australian Government puts hundreds of hours and millions of dollars into Counter-Terrorism legislation, but it takes them forever and a day to do something about same-sex marriage? They respond to 9/11 by introducing a new law, on average, every seven weeks since then, regarding terrorism, with no need to ask the public “Hey, do you reckon Terrorism is wrong or…”?

However, they have to make sure that the majority of Australians agree that it is all cool for two people with the same genitalia to be legally recognised as married. The government can pass 52 laws for terrorism because it ‘impedes on human rights’, but they cannot pass one bill to change the definition of marriage to “he and she” to “he/he, she/she, or he/she”.

Which, by the way, was not even needed until the Howard government in 2004 decided to amend the definition of marriage to:

And also inserted:

88EA Certain unions are not marriages
A union solemnised in a foreign country between:
(a) a man and another man; or
(b) a woman and another woman;
must not be recognised as a marriage in Australia.

But you know, as stubborn as I am, I have always been able and willing to consider the other side of the argument.

So this is for anyone disagreeing.

Reason number one that I can think of for anyone voting no is that you simply, perhaps, were brought up religiously. That is why the government has not changed it. However, the law has to reflect the values of the majority of society right? Well… the ‘majority’ of Australia ticked the religion box on the census that said “no religion”. So there goes that one.

So, on the off chance that you do oppose gay marriage because you are a devoted Christian, consider this; the bible included six, at the most, passages that reference homosexuality.

For example:

This story exclaims that a man lying with another man, instead of his wife an “abomination”. This story, like every other passage, doesn’t focus on the whole man-and-man thing. Nope, it is about the fact that the dude cheated on his wife, you know, the whole ‘shall not commit adultery’ thing (s/o to Henry the eighth). That is fair enough, but I’m sorry… where in the commandments does it say, “you may not be allowed into the room where your long-term same-sex partner is going thru painful cancer treatment because legally, you are not next of kin.”.

So, to all those quoting the bible in this time of o-so-threatening social justice, two can play at that game.

And just in case I am wrong here, and being a gay is, indeed, an ‘abomination’, please consider that the bible also deems eating pork as an abomination, (and who in their right mind is going to stop eating bacon!).

The next and only other reason I can identify is just that you are an idiot and need to get over yourself.

We are not talking about religion here. The issue is about state marriage. The government cannot legalise religions to accept same-sex marriage. They can do that themselves if they want to. Celebrants are people that can conduct formal ceremonies such as a wedding, without bringing religion into it. It will mean you can become legally married in the eyes of the law, not God.

Also to all the naysayers out there, if you are that much against same-sex marriage, then don’t marry a gay person. Don’t go to a gay wedding. A change in the law will not affect you, your marriage, your beliefs or your religion. It has an impact on a single group of people, the LGBTQ community.

YouTube: Gay Marriage | Shaun Micallef’s MAD AS HELL, Wednesday 8:30pm on ABC

Law’s are supposed to change along with the values of society, and the only reason it cannot abide by that is that you will not change along with the values of society as a whole.

But, as I said, those people DO NOT make up the majority of Australia. You cannot argue that they do, otherwise, honestly, I will cry for your pessimistic minds.

However, of course, there is nothing optimistic about believing that most Australians are kind, open-hearted, reasonable human beings. That is just reality.

It is realistic to believe that if you knock on your neighbour’s door asking for some sugar, they will only offer you sweetness. It is realistic to think that if someone on the street holds a can out for change, that most have the sense (and the cents) to give. It is realistic, in fact, to believe that most Australians, given the opportunity, would show support for those who love each other, regardless of their gender.

Anyway, it has been stated and restated that I, a human being who is tragically condemned to being only 16 years of age currently, am not able to participate in the postal vote. The Government made sure to close that loophole.

Yeah, a postal vote. Like in the mailbox, because Australia refuses to use an inbox. Of course, that would mean making it harder for the majority of Australia to have a say, and allows all the old homophobic farts to have theirs. Oh, and of course, we have to make it non-compulsory to vote, because the opinion of those who decide to vote is obviously going to be entirely accurate in representing all of Australia. Duh.

Okay, let’s just take all the bias out of it and the opinions and stuff for a second.

Here are the facts.

Legally, the ‘de facto’ relationships that are permitted between same-sex couples do not give them the same rights when it comes to pressing matters such as urgent hospital visits and some financial stuff that I do not really understand.
This vote is not about whos allowed to be in love.
This vote is not about prejudices, homophobia or religion.
This vote is a mere question of the legal implications of marriage becoming available to same-sex couples.

This vote affects a husband or wife’s ability to have a say about their partner’s wishes being fulfilled after they die.

Moreover, here’s a fact; the government handled it all wrong. They held the hot potato in their hands for too long. They obviously didn’t watch enough of The Wiggles. You have to throw the potato to the people and have them catch it before it cools down. A cold potato is not a politically relevant potato.

They spent too much time and money on a damn postal vote. Why? They are killing trees and dreams dudes. The paper that it took probably shook up climate change, and now Florida and Irma are having a mad punch up because you could not send an email.

You know what? It does not even matter who gets to marry if the world ends.

Honestly, no matter how many rules, commandments, opinions or laws there are, I am pretty sure everyone can just agree on one simple principle.

“Don’t be a dick to people.”

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Image: Simples

Why the government is making it more complicated than it needs to be, I have no idea. Also, the thing we are all forgetting while thinking our opinion matters is that the vote is not even legally valid. It is a bloody survey. Whether the answer is yes or no, we still have no clue how long it is going to take for laws to go through, or if they ever will.

Am I the only one who has a full cringe attack every time someone mentions ‘equality’? I mean, while it is entirely embedded within me as your average millennial to support all who face diversity, it just annoys me. Why does being a decent human being have to become some pop-culture? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all here for the second generation hippies all over the place, (s/o to the 60’s flower people. wassup, thanks for allowing us to vote and stuff, oh yeah by the way it doesn’t help at all, voting makes it all worse, from Donald Trump to same-sex marriage.)

In fact, if people just calmed the hell down with their opinions, everyone might just be able to chill, whether they hate black people, gay people or women, or not.

YouTube: Mrs. Brown for Yes Equality

We are just people at the end of the day. So who the hell told you that your opinion matters compared to the entire bloody universe and all its problems. Explain, someone, how despite humanity having actual problems threatening our very existence, it still feels the need to create smaller societal dramas to fixate on and piss each other off.

None of it matters, try not to have an existential crisis, but really, it is all meaningless. That’s why I just wrote like 1000 words about it.

Anyway, enough of all that serious stuff. Here’s a sarcastic (but truthful) youtube video for you.

YouTube: Honest Government Advert | Marriage Equality Plebbyshite