The Truth About School Reports In 5 Minutes

Iiiiiiiiii is on holiYAYs!!!

? Woahhhhh were half way there! Woahhhhhh post half yearly dispaaiiirr! ?

Ok look, to initiate your two weeks of freedom with a little yellow envelope full of secrets and tears is not a nice thing, school. I guess some of us need the two weeks to recover from the blow we took.

But as unique or crazy as our term might have been, reports are nearly always the same.

Teachers, please, enlighten me. Do you or do you not have a set scaffold for ‘good kid’ and ‘bad kid’ and all you have to do is replace the name? I mean, come on… nearly every report I’ve gotten in my life includes a general arrangement of these comments.

“Tyneesha is a quiet/polite/courteous student of __________”

“Tyneesha is sometimes easily distracted/distracts others.”

“Tyneesha is an interested student.” Followed by a comment on my participation in class discussions, a part of my school experience that depends not on my personality, but the size, nature and topic of the class, the teacher, whether or not the teacher pronounces my name correctly, my mood during that particular day, where and who I sit with, the way in which the teacher teaches, if the classroom is hot or cold, what time it is,  the way the planets are arranged and how long it’s been since I had chicken nuggets.

These comments don’t make sense at all. Because for one subject, I’m chatty and rude and just an overall bumhead probably because it is physically impossible to correct a teacher on my name without sounding bitchy, and I will never live that moment off. Orrr, I’m quiet and need to participate more, and I don’t ask questions, which are both true if I’m honest. But then I get the good ones, that change ‘chatty’ to ‘involved’ and “quiet’ to ‘polite’ and ‘easily distracted’ to ‘able to connect with various topics’.

Thank you, teachers who hate me but still give me good reports, I hate you slightly less now. Also, I’m sorry for proving you wrong; I know it must be a massive cut to the heart when the chatty distracted kid who doesn’t ask questions (because she knows what she’s doing better than you) got the marks she earned instead of the marks she’d get based on your criticism.

Fav report statement ever came from my science teacher in year 9, went a little something like this:

“Tyneesha is often distracted and disruptive of others during class. However, this was not reflected in her marks.”

Haha haha haha me, the highly functioning talkaholic. Until of course, it comes to speeches; then I forget how to talk when it matters.

Seriously, school is the rudest. I’m in year 11 so we only just go to pick all of our subjects for this year at the end of last year. I and all my luck ended up being 1 of the two people who had to change more than one of their subject choices because of clashes on the class schedule thing. I had to forget about physics. The only kind of science I’ve ever actually been interested in, and somehow have always been good at despite my lack of skill when it comes to numbers? Because of my school, being a Catholic school requires me to do religion (and it turns out I’m not good at that at all, whoops.)

Then I had to choose between legal studies and music. That decision made me cry a couple of times, but at least I don’t have to deal with the weird music teacher (the one that I liked got pregas and scadattled). It kinda sucked though because all through school we’d been allowed to pick two electives. Mine were music and commerce (basically the pre-course to legal or business studies in senior years) so I didn’t like one more than the other, I wasn’t better at one than the other, I liked both my teachers and I was equally interested in both. It’s cool though…

What I need Hermione’s time travel pendant thing, seriously, I used to be like “why would you use a cool thing like that just to go to classes?” but I get it, Hermione, I get it, girl. (is casually a minor geek, like a closeted Whovian and Potterhead, but also not really because Star Wars and Lord of the Rings are a no from me, except now that Emilia Clarke is in the Han Solo movie, I may be a partial Star Wars fan soon, but THE HOBBIT YES BOI!) (identity issues based on what shows I like) again, it’s cool though…

But shock horror, seems I’m doing better in the subjects that I actually wanted to do… interesting that… but you know, at least it’s not the American education system, right?

I’m sure Trump university would let me pick my subjects.

Thanks, Donnie!