A Bunch of Pointless Petitions for You to Sign!

Hi everyone!

The title of this blog post is pretty self-explanatory. Below are a handful of change.org petitions that I’ve made (or found) to support random unfounded causes. Take this post at surface level and have a fun time signing petitions. Or, perhaps, consider it an art piece on privilege, performative activism and collective intelligence. Your choice.

Arnotts – PLEASE make double coat TimTams available in family packs!!!

Double coat TimTams are simply better than the original TimTams. We all know this. It’s un-Australian to disagree. So then, why are we limited to single-serve packs? Also, I will not be sharing them with the family.

Sign the petition here: http://chng.it/7YN2ZjXv

Instagram – allow clickable links

I made this petition prior to Instagram allowing us to use links on our stories. However, I still can’t see a reason why we can’t use them on actual posts. Why leave this feature out for a platform that’s desperately copying the characteristics of all other social media apps?

Sign the petition here: http://chng.it/gkzdnrb5

Re-film all of Dance Academy the exact same, except have Ethans character die instead

I did not make this petition, but I did sign it. I also re-watched Dance Academy during the lockdown, and I could not agree more. Sammy’s death was and is the most intense experience with grief I’ve had, and he’s not even real. If you’re not familiar with the show, It’s on Netflix. Catch up and then come back.

Sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/me-re-film-all-of-dance-academy-the-exact-same-expect-have-ethans-character-die-instead

Re-do season eight of Game Of Thrones… and this time, do it right.

If you’ve seen Game Of Thrones, I’m sure you agree. If you haven’t, first of all…grow up. Secondly, just trust me. Sign the petition. Every single character deserved a better ending, and it was a wasted opportunity to finish a series loved by so many.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/Y95QVbhdN6

Change police sirens to the Jaws theme

I’m happy to buy the copyright directly from Steven Spielberg and John Williams. It would be so funny. If we’re going to keep fear-mongering people into driving safely, we might as well have fun.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/pbSxtc2ZHw

End capitalism

I did not make this petition either, so below is the caption written by the person who did.

I was told that in order to end capitalism, I must engage in direct action such as protesting, joining worker unions, partaking in radical leftist groups, spreading awareness about the failings of capitalism, and reading theory. I refuse to participate in any of these activities and will instead watch bread tube all day and start a change.org petition. If this petition gets enough signs then I’ll present it at the next United Nations meeting and ask them to end capitalism. Thank you for your help!

Sign the petition here: https://www.change.org/p/capitalists-end-capitalism

Put USB charging ports on public transport

My phone has run-flat whilst on a train more than once. It’s 2021. If we can go to the moon, we can go to Newcastle without a dead phone.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/m8qwnsGBtz

Stop gatekeeping pillow forts

I don’t know the password. Please, just let me in.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/9Q7JyWzbj4

Destroy the idea that tattoos & peircings are “unprofessional”

This idea was brought up by my friend, Taylor. Check out her blog here. She’s cool.

Truly, normalise being cool and professionally successful. Plus, self-expression and individualism is often an asset in a company. Your appearance should not be considered as an accurate reflection of your work ethic. It makes no sense, and the prejudice is rooted in racism and classism.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/yrcxbcSK

Outlaw context!

I will not be explaining this one.

Sign the petition here: https://chng.it/kCHc5xFP5m